Bonus Level : The Mad Wheelchair Dash

Alternative title: Happy Birthday Rajah Linaban

I guess it's a given, that everything 2nd borns do are compared to their eldest siblings experiences in their parents eyes, so siblings do crazy things often to differentiate from the elder.

We did not get the repeat waterbirth/homebirth. Instead we get a funny story.

I've already blogged about the frustrating hospital visit we took 3 weeks ago when labor stalled.

What followed was just waiting, and walking, and trying everything to naturally induce the baby, and watching underwear for leaks or mucus plugs or water breaking.

Everytime it seemed like I was going into labor (consistent but painless contractions, spaced evenly apart), they'd stop after an hour or two.

I lost morale by the day. There was conflicting information about my actual due date, so I didn't even know if I was past due yet. The doctor was worried about baby's increasing size, and I was worried about all the backlog I'd left in Cebu (hi Binisaya).

She said that if he wasnt out by week 41 day 4 (last saturday), she was going to get me started on oxy (pitocin).

Chris and I discussed. We weighed out options, pro's and cons. We decided to get a second opinion.

On week 41,day 3, we visited another OB who was chunkier but stopped birthing, reasons unknown. Ultrasound revealed baby was great, not that big yet, and was doing fine. Baby's AOG was 38 weeks. When I told her tho that I'd been 5cm for 3 weeks, she said she'd induce me. She performed reflexology on my foot and found a particularly nasty knot on my right foot.

I started having intense but painless contractions in the car on the way back home, but when we got there, contractions stopped.

A week later (last night), I was at the hospital and my doctor was writing the request for the drugs for induction.

We were supposed to come in the previous day, but the hospital was fully booked. We spent the day on pedicures, thrifting for breastfeeding friendly tops, and barbecue. Creature comforts before the slaughter.

Throughout these activities tho, contractions were coming in at 6-8 minutes apart. I didnt take them seriously tho since they didn't hurt.

So at 9:10, I was given an IV with pitocin and something to soften my cervix. Doctor didnt bother with an I.E.

Again, I was given a room upstairs, and told to inform the nurse if anything hurt.

I think I took a nap, and woke up at 11 to HELL.

I thought it was the drugs. I had no idea this was already transition.

My thinking brain was like "Oh no, 4 - 6 hours of this is impossible!", and it promptly shut down.

I read somewhere before that you had to keep your jaw slack, so I was trying to contradict the impulse to grit my teeth through the pain and just wait for it to subside, willing my body to open.

I made Chris time the contractions and push against my hips whenever a wave hit. I felt like a crocodile, ready to bite him whenever he'd ask me if I was going through a contraction. I could not speak, so I'd squeeze his arm at the onset of one. Contractions were minutes long and spaced at 3-4 minutes apart. And they would not stop for anything.

Even for nurses in cat masks coming in to check on my bp and baby's heart rate.

Even bathroom breaks. Because I felt like pooping but immediately collapsed on all fours on the bathroom floor asking for hot water to be poured down my back. In retrospect I realize Chris had no idea what was going on either. I cursed under my breath at how slow the blessed water was to come.

I did not want to leave that bathroom.

I was beyond all thought.

I had completely surrendered to my body.

For example, when a wave hit, my body felt like jiggling. And then my brain was like "heeey, this is helping! Good idea, we'll do that"

My mouth opened and I started vocalizing and brain still didn't get the memo.

My hand went under my crotch involuntarily and I still didn't realize that I was crowning.

Then another nurse arrived and told me I needed to move to the delivery room.

On a wheelchair.

I wanted to yell "BUT I CANT EVEN SIT WOMAN!"

My mom and the nurse (the same midwife who assisted during Malaya's delivery) coached me to breathe, as we made a mad dash to the labor room.

I feel sorry for her, I must've been a difficult patient, struggling against the wheelchair while she was just trying to get me from point A to B as soon as possible. It was not a short ride. On the wheelchair, I'd blocked them out. I jiggled and the nurse was concerned I was having a seizure. I stretched my legs and she had to provide counter weight.

By the time we got to the labor room, I could hear nurses panicking around me. "Sa Delivery na na!" "Wa pa si doc" "mam ayaw sa'g utong!" I popped, water gushed out (in a moving wheelchair so we're all clear here) and while that relieved the pain by a bucket (hehehe) my body had decided to push without asking my brain.

And then I pushed, right when they wheeled me into the DR. One nurse was like "Mam, ayaw sa!" Body was like "HELL NO", and my mouth went "But he's coming!"

And his head was out, followed shortly by the rest of him.

Rajah Chawdhury-Linaban was born at 1:30am feb 1,2017 in a moving wheelchair at the Biliran Provincial Hospital. He weighed 3.45 kilograms and latched like a pro.

I managed to scream AYAWG PUTLA when I heard one nurse asking for a clamp through the haze of wuv and affection that followed after my former tenant was put in my arms.

Fortunately one of the nurses (the one with a cat mask) knew about lotus birth and explained to the others. The doctor arrived shortly and cleaned me up (no tears!) and waited for the placenta. They put it in a kidney dish and carried it with baby while they weighed him/cleaned him up.

Things may not have gone according to plan, and there was a little augmentation involved, but that was the most eventful wheelchair ride I will probably ever have in my life. The hospital staff was respectful of my kooky requests regarding the baby's aftercare and for that I am extremely grateful.

We celebrated with ice cream and cake, in what is turning into our own little family tradition. After all, what's a birthday without cake and candles?

I can't read it either. I tried. I can make out Happy and Birthday, but the rest is mysterious.

Malaya is waiting for the photo to be over with so he can get icing. (spot the cord!)

King of grand entrances, this boy.

P.S. Malaya's face when he first saw his brother lit up like it was Christmas. :3

Plus one

So.... baby numero dos is on its way.

The boy is 3 years old now, and while there is a lot to say about his development, we've started keeping a physical portfolio for that, eliminating the need to journal here. Also, he's quickly growing into his own person and I think he prefers Superman to Aquaman (despite my desperate attempts to shield him from cartoons and pop culture. T_T)

Back to baby number 2. I'm 13 weeks into the pregnancy, still no idea what kind of sea monster this one's going to be so I'll talk about what it's like to go back to square one, albeit with toddler (or official child?) in tow.

This wasn't a completely accidental baby, as the partner and I had been open to the possibility of ending up with another "accident". To be honest, I'd been making the father creature read up on ideal age gaps between siblings and he'd chide me with "look for another sperm donor".

Mao ra'y gidangat.

I swear I didn't count on getting knocked up again though, my period's been irregular since Mr Kracken came along, so I had no way to measure ovulation and stuff.

Okay, too much info already. That's not what you're here for. You wanna know what it's going to be.

DRUMROLL PLEASE....

....

....

....

We don't know yet. SORRY GUYS.

If it's another boy, I expect hurricanes. If it's another girl, I expect a pouty boy. We asked future kuya if he wants a boy or a girl (as if expressing your wishes ever changes the X or Y component of the fertilizing sperm. Lol) and he insists he wants a minion. Hay nako.

I read up on the ramzi method, but we'd been out of the country for a month and weren't able to get that ultrasound until much too late to see whether the fetus was lying on the right or left side.

But it's healthy. Last ultrasound indicated it still had a tail, that was 3 weeks ago. The next check up isn't until after next week. 

I was warned that all pregnancies are different. One notable difference is that I'm not constantly panicking over whether I'm doing the right thing or not. I'm not being as anal about what I'm eating (altho I think I really should be). Another is the near constant morning sickness. I don't remember nausea being this bad the first go. The whole time we were in said other country (murica, the land of milk and munies), I couldn't stomach anything but berries and soup. When we got back, there were no more berries and puking nearly every night. I can't wait to be done with the first trimester.

Last pregnancy, I was in constant awe of ever single milestone. Now I just want to get this over with. The first trimester at least. I am not enjoying the fact that I'd just started getting in gym shape, and now I have no energy to reach my toes (while I still can). The puking is keeping me from turning into a blimp this early, but I haven't been able to get any exercise. I hope things change in the next few weeks though.

I am a little bit worried about how life could change with another kid. We were only starting to have lives again! I was beginning to have a career! Stuff like that. On the other hand, I really did want another, and one not too far away from the first so that we wouldn't have to go back to absolute zero. Certainly not when I'm too old to have worry free pregnancies. I don't know if I want to give birth after 30.

As far as similarities go, I still get crazy pregnancy dreams (but I don't need to be pregnant to have those), still intend to waterbirth, still intend to lotus birth, still intend to attachment parent. Trouble is, I doubt my previous OB will still attend to me. I still haven't found an OB in Cebu who would be open to my preferred birthing method. I checked out options in Murica but am confused about what it means to give birth there without insurance or citizenship.

So I'm gritting my teeth, trying to recall how painful the first time was. I think 3 years really is enough time to forget the ring of fire and start missing baby coo's and sly baby winks.

Which isn't to say I am not enjoying the first one's boyhood. Maybe I feel ready because he's starting to become more independent. He has more favorite people now, and he doesn't need to breastfeed anymore (partially because I've been turning him away because sore breasts during pregnancy are the worst), altho he still does sometimes for comfort. 

So we'll see. In the meantime, any suggestions for baby names?

Celebrating One Year of Baby Love Part1: The Party

We had a full month. I'm not even kidding. We moved houses, sold food at two different fairs, planned the birthday party, had the birthday party (and several surprise parties after from different people).

As for the birthday party...

Paperless and free! Yay for evite.com

We made edible nontoxic paints.

I swear it was only food coloring and flour.

the older kids went along, but I have to admit this was too kindergarten for some.

the smaller ones were totally down.

absolutely down.

 Parents played along too.

Squishy!

And then Malaya woke up. By this point, the paints had already been set aside and everyone was done washing up. So all there was left was to sing birthday songs for the celebrants.

Superman cake c/o Tita Arlene Villa

Another little lady was turning 9 in 3 days, so there was no way she was not getting to blow her own candle.

We sang for Malaya and April, and then they blew out their candles.

Malaya got a little help blowing his candle out from Lola Nanay. His "One" shirt was sent over by the Mamita.

We strung paper circles together for curtains. The paper was c/o magazines my friends offered for sacrifice.

We had a chocolate fountain (c/o T&C Rental) , fruits (c/o Kit and Lolo Jumbo!), lots of cake, pancit, Lola Nanay's chicken lollipops and Tito Mark's mango float for the tykes... 

... and had food catered for the adults c/o RTCM Catering. They were nice enough to make some servings vegetarian-friendly. 

Piñata time!

no palayok? no problem.

party wasn't even halfway through but the celebrants were pooped.

After the small kids went home with goody bags full of the fingerpaint, artwork and candy (sorry parents), the big big kids started playing board games and breaking the booze out.

I blew out 25 candles in a party dress that woulda made my 5-year old self proud.

We also screened a compilation we made of Malaya's first year, which will be up in another post.

Thank you Mamita, Lola Nanay, Lolo Ely, Lola Mama, Lolo Bill, and a handful of benefactors for your contributions to this bash. Yay for grandparents! Thank you also to the friends and family who came and brought gifts for the little boy. Yay for ninongs and ninangs!

Photos were by Eva Marie Gamboa of Picture Trail Studios.

For the rest of this post (CHEESiness! NSFWness!), click me.

My mommy resolutions for 2014

Tita Hani Lei's doing this month-long challenge of not saying the word "busy" so I can't say the b-word. Ive been... Pre-occupied (nyahaha, nakalusot).

We didn't do much for new year. The boy nursed through midnight fireworks. I heard gun shots somewhere in the distance and we thought it would be better to stay alive for another year so we burrowed indoors. How did you guys do? Anyone lose a finger? 


2013 was dark and dismal for a lot of us, save for the human being that this blog has been about for the last 10 months.

I haven't had a lot of energy since being a mom and I can't say I've been in very good shape. So the overarching resolution is to be more productive, and to create an environment, mindset, and physique that would be more conducive to carrying Malaya productivity.

Simply put, I want to be a better mommy. Here's how I plan to improve:

8 Month old a week before Christmas

Within the past month, Malaya has started exploring beyond the bedroom door, eating finger foods (its a mess, but its a step towards autonomy!!!), added "Baby" "Babab" (byebye) and "Mamam/Mommy/Ammu" to his vocabulary. More importantly, he knows I'm mamam!

He only says Mamam when he's crying tho. Which he does a lot more often these days. The boy is frustrated he can't go everywhere. We keep him away from the wires, from the kittens, from our footwear. And on most days, we're successful.

... most days...

We can't help it if the kittens run to him.

With Christmas being around the corner, we're almost tempted to just leave a couple of christmas lights lying around so we can get the baby+christmas lights greeting card photo everyone's doing.

Maybe not.

But yes my dear readers. Heathens that we are, we too are celebrating Christmas. Why? Because Mamita got Malaya a tree. 

Damn right it's purple.

I'm no Grinch. I'm the kid who stayed out on our lawn every night every Christmas season to listen to carolers and watch the christmas lights turn laser when I swung by on my swing. I'm the kid who insisted my muslim father should give gifts to all my friends and cousins because they all believed in the Santa Claus story and Abbu had the right belly size.

I love Christmas/Saturnalia/the Yuletide season. Humanity has for centuries. Way way before Capitalists did. It's a celebration of life, and Malaya's first year-ender thing. I'll take any excuse to celebrate this boy. Haha.

I'm also trying to infect the Daddy Creature with the Christmas Spirit. Correction: He says its there, just really really deep inside and I haven't made an effort to pull it out of him yet.

Check out the boy's new chompers:

To all the secret Santas in Malaya's life, he's been a good boy this year and mommy wants a bunch of beautifully illustrated children's books, because he's starting to pay attention to the book's illustrations when we read "The House in The Night" to him, and frankly, I'm getting tired of reading the same two books.

But if you want to know what this boy really wants for Christmas, this cute post is a closer approximation:

http://theuglyvolvo.com/2013/12/10/a-ten-month-olds-letter-to-santa/

Happy Saturnalia!